Children who have always lived with both parents are in for a major life adjustment if their parents end their romantic relationship. One of the main changes that they have to deal with is learning how to live in two homes.
Helping your children through this adjustment may take time, but it’s possible. These three tips may offer a good starting point for helping them.
1. Keep essentials in both homes
Packing everything they need to go back and forth between homes can be stressful. Having essentials in both homes so they don’t have to do this may be beneficial for the children. Doing this enables them to only have to bring things that they want or things that can’t be duplicated between homes, so there’s less of a chance they’ll forget something.
2. Give them a space to call their own
Children should have some space of their own at each home. This might be a bedroom, but it can also be another space. If the children have to share a room, they should each have a certain area for their own things.
3. Start the time off calmly
Transition days are often hard on children because of the stress of leaving one parent and the excitement of seeing the other parent. When the children come to your house, plan for a calm time to give them time to adjust. This might mean watching a movie together or just relaxing at home.
One of the most important things for parents to do when they split up is to get the parenting plan in order. This outlines parental responsibilities and duties, so there’s no doubt about what should happen. Having the parenting plan as comprehensive as possible can reduce the chance of problems later. Because of the complexity of these plans, it might be best to work with someone who’s familiar with these matters so they can guide you through it.